I HATE COLLEGE

So I really hate college or let me say I really hate this so called education, but i find myself here still. I find myself staring out the window during a lecture in boredom, I find myself staring at the ceiling looking for an escape, I find myself twitching out of frustration. I find myself wondering how did I get here, do I want to be here and why am I really here. I’ll tell you its very plain and simple I hate college, I hate the routine, I hate the rules, I hate the controlled environment. It forces you to conform to different tasks in order to get the ultimate reward, the ultimate ‘A’. It also fucks with your mind and makes you believe that getting this A, is the only thing that matters in the world. It’s like that diamond, you have to dig really deep to get, you get the precious stone depending on how well you dig, how determined you are in finding that stone. If you get tired and quit, well you don’t get the stone. You fail, you have failed.
I am in this institution that feels like prison not only physically but in my mind because I know I can’t get out. I want to quit but I can’t quit, I am not supposed to quit because I am carrying the weight of a lot of people on my shoulders and I don’t want to slip and hurt them. They are my parents, they are only two but their worries feels like the weight of the world, on my tiny skinny shoulders and I have to carry them. I have to look into eyes and pretend that I like school, I have to look into their eyes and assure them that I will do well, that I will not fail in school, that I will not fail them.
I am in this prison because of them, I am in this prison because I want them to be happy, I want them to show their friends the paper (certificate) that I worked my ass for. So that they can say at least I have a son like this. I am here because they have done so much for me and I am so very afraid to hurt them.
So yes, I will stay in prison for one more year, so yeah I will behave myself so I get out on time. I will try my very best to read the bullshit even though, I know in my heart of hearts I do not want to read it. I will try and crack that equation even though I know I am going to be very happy doing something else but it does not change that fact that I hate school, I hate this so called education. I hate college.